Thursday, January 28, 2010

Amazing Times!

Well it's been awhile since I've written and I hope I'm not losing you all. Kim thanks for the bday wishes. Steph and Erin you guys are too funny thanks again and again for all your help and friendships. Derek let me say Mark will get some razzing over his night of drinking.

I had my 4th cycle of chemo. My mother in law was there for this one. I wasn't much entertainment for her as I slept through most of this one. She did get to witness the nurse miss my vein with the first IV the next one she put in started to bleed. She actually changed a part the IV and it solved the problem not after some blood squirted at her. When I was recieving the chemo this time I really felt like I was being poisoned. Even though I had no nausea and feel relatively good I have this mental thingy going on of being poisoned. I seen another oncologist from Dr Chin-yee's team. I believe his name was doctor Logan he felt my armpit and told me they're very happy with how my lymphoma is responding to the chemo. He said there was only a little spot left in my armpit and he wasn't sure if was even lymphoma. He thought it just may be scar tissue filling in for the lymphoma that is most likely gone. So I'm hoping 6 cycles will be enough for me but I'll have to wait for my CAT scan.

Lastly I have had one of the most amazing weeks of my life. Since I've been diagnosed with cancer my life has been a whrilwind of ups and downs. I've had unbelievable support from are families and friends. Seriously I can't believe the things you all have done the prayers the kindness,generousity,and love. The support I recieve from wellsprings the cancer support centre here in London has been huge for me. The excellent care from all the doctors and nurses at the london cancer clinc. Even with all this support I was scared,confused,angry,and every other emotion that comes with this horrible diease. But things changed for me forever on Monday Jan 25th I had just finished my peer support group and was at the wellsprings centre. I looked over and one of the girls in my peer support group was waving at me excitedly to come over. She was standing in front of a bulletin board pointing at a leaflet. It said, "stupid cancer" a group for young people with cancer. They were having a get together tuesday night at a restaurant in London at 6:00. My friend and I decided we'd go. Little did we know that Stupid cancer was a fairly big organization that was started in the U.S I'm not sure how many years ago. But they have 37 chapters in the US just for support with young people with cancer. Tuesday was the first time this group was in Canada and London of all places. So I show up at 6 and there is a private room in the back for the group. People start to show up and we mingle a bit. I think there was roughly 14 or 15 young adults that showed up from london,toronto,kitchener,and windsor. The organizer had us all sit at the table she gave us a brief intro to what stupid cancer was and then invited us all one by one to tell our stories with each other. One by one these people told there stories and they were amazing and inspiring. I was amazed a how grateful these people were to live life considering some of them are terminal,some are relapsing and some are cured. It was nice to here young people with the same concerns that I had. The only thing I don't get from wellsprings is the younger point of view on how to deal with cancer. Some of there stories were heartbreaking. One young man told me how do ask a girl on a date but I might not be around in a few years, let alone if you want to have children. Or how about being diagnosed with cancer at 23 and sleeping everynight in your mothers bed for a year because you're afraid you won't wake up. How about being diagnosed in your mid twenties with an extremely rare cancer that they have no protocol for. So basically you have to tell the doctors how to care for you because they don't know what to do. These kind of stories came from each persons mouth yet they smiled and had fun and were so positive. I stayed out till 1am listening to stories and exchanged #'s and made some friends. When I left there I wasn't scared of cancer anymore and some of my biggest fears were gone. This isn't to say I don't have fears because I do it's just different now. I've grown and have a greater appreciation for life even more then before. I'm have no idea how often this group will meet but I'll be there and will support anyone of these people.

Tonight I ate 2 full onions pickled in vinegar, followed by a half a pineapple, sunflower seeds, 3 glasses of lemonade before bed. Thanks Jen for the lasagna and mom for coming to wellsprings with me.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Surprise!!!

Jolaine I agree I do look good and I am doing well and I'm thankful for that. Colleen I think Chico is absolutely right I will make it. I think it is neat that your son has the same bday. I hope everthing works out for him also. Erin I have a positive attitude because many people like yourselves that give your time,love, and prayers to my family. Jen thanks for going above and beyond to organize a little surprise for me in windsor it was great fun. Jolaine and Duke thanks for letting us party at your house. Linda if I was in a wheelchair I'd be at the golf trip that's how much fun I have on that trip. Thanks to all the golf trip guys for showing up at the party. Linda it was nice to see you there! It was great to see al of you at the party... Cathy I agree the best part about doing my stickers was I didn't make a decision because of my cancer that was cool! Thanks for the birthday wishes Craig,BJ,Victoria and Katie. Yes we need to get together or my wife will start harassing you.

Well this week was busy busy. Thursday Morning for my birthday my neighbour Derek took me out for breakfast at the malibu and it was fantastic. Derek and I could talk until breakfast the next day no problem. We never shut up and enjoy talking and sharing stories with each other. Then for lunch myself,mom, and the girls met Jen for lunch at work. We had a nice lunch and mom picked up the bill. Thanks mom! Later that night we had friends and family over for supper wow what a great day! On friday my work partner Dennis picked me up and brought me out for lunch at hooks. Dennis and I also have the gift of gab it was nice to see him. Dennis I'll be back slugging it out with you soon... Thanks for lunch! Friday night we left for windsor. I went out for lunch with my wife on Saturday and came back to my parents for a afternoon nap. When I woke up we had pizza and headed over to my sisters for cake and cupcakes. Little did I know there was friends and family gathered for a little surprise party. I was so not expecting this. It was so nice to see all of you. I haven't seen alot of you's since my diagnosis. So we sat around and ate and told stories and had lots of good laughs. Thanks to everyone for the cards and lottery tickets and gift cards so not necessary but appreciated. I stayed up to 1:00am pretty good for me. Sunday was off to Chatham to pick up my mother in law so she can babysit me this week lol.

Otherwise I feel great pyhsically and mentally. I have my peer support group on monday. But I don't think I have any other things going on at wellsprings this week. I might give meditation a shot this week again. My butt doesn't feel as lethal this week. My appointment with Dr. Chin-yee is thrusday and chemo # 4 is on the friday already. A big happy birthday to my sister in law and dad who's birthdays are monday and tuesday this week. Young people with cancer is a support group that I think I'm going to join. I took the phone number off a pamphlet at wellsprings. They have conferences and support groups also it looks kind of neat. Also I want to say happy bday to Jack we missed his 4th bday while we were in windsor. I suspect Jack made out alright in the gift department. Could I be right Steph?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

This week feels very normal!

Thanks to Jennifer my wife for all your encouragement and help. Steph thanks for the info on my pickle obsession. Apparently I eat the pickles to make up for my Iron deficiency so that explains things. Erin I couldn't agree more with you this is my year... Jewel I think you're coming over for dinner thrusday so I'll see you then but no Eric this time oh well! Jennifer if you ever want to make me some more lasangna that would be great. Also a big thanks to Kim for making the shepards pie for us this week it was so yummy. Also a prayer for a friend who lost her father recently Jen and I send our love!

Well Jan 14th is my 38th birthday and my first with cancer. I never thought I'd be talking about cancer at 38 let alone through 3 cycles of chemo already. Sometimes this whole thing doesn't feel real. Unfortunately it is very real. But not is all bad I continue to feel great and very optimistic. Today I renewed my stickers for 2 years on my van and as I walked out I realized I never thought about if I'd be around in 2 years. When she asked me if I wanted to renew I said 2 years and never thought about it. 2 Months earlier I would have thought about it for a bit. I'm not sure how long the van will be around but I'll outlast that thing. I had my weelsprings peer support group on monday and the more I go the more I realize I'm going to miss this group when they are gone. I believe we will continue to gather as a group at the local coffee shops around the city hopefully once a week for awhile. The big day is feb 17th for the Cat scan which I mentioned in the last blog. They'll be able to measure my tumor and I'll have an idea how much more chemo I'll do. Jan 21st I have my next appointment with Dr chin-yee and the next day I do my 4th cycle of chemo already. For now I just continue on like life is normal I have a plan to fly out to see my brother in Vancouver in the spring as well as my golf trip. My Marissa has her 4th bday on Jan 31st already wow. Life flows so fast sometimes I just want to throw on the brakes. Eventually I'll have to start thinking about going back to work which I look forward to. My mom is here this week watching the girls as my mother in law gets a break. Did alitte ice skating on my brothers homemade icerink this week and I officially have no stamina.

Have a great week everyone!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Happy New Year!

Well a BIG thanks to my wife for all her support throughout are crazy last few months you are my true love. Erin thanks for the new years eve bash with the kids it was great. Jolaine it was great to have you at chemo even though I slept the whole time. B&B thanks for all the help I don't know how we'd do it without you! Colleen & Chico I'm glad to hear you're in florida with 2 of my favourite people Shannon and Bev. Never too late to learn some good old golfing I say.


I'm happy to say that round 3 of chemo has no signs of nausea again. But I notice that my energy level is way down. I hate to say it but chemo is tiring me out. I'm more like a sprinter now I can go hard for 2 or 3 hours then I need a nap. So that's a bit frustrating for me but these aren't huge obstacles it's just the way it is. I'm trying to write more in my blog but I've been to tired to write most nights. I have a CAT scan scheduled for Feb 17th so this will give me the first real indication of just how much my tumor has shrunk throughout this chemo treatment. So mark that on your calender... I also forgot to take my prednisone one morning and it screwed up my sleep for a few days. One very heartbreaking thing for me is that food is tasting wierd for me lately. I told the wife last night that foods aren't tasting the same as they used to this is a true bummer to me. Pickles still taste good as well as cuccumber and vineager. I went to my support group on Monday which was great I missed the group over the holiday. When the facilitator tolds us we only had 3 weeks left with the group I started to panic. All I thought was who am I going to speak with after they're gone. Then the facilitator said unless you want to exchange #'s and still meet. I piped up like a desperate puppy and said I will, I will... Thank god everyone else seemed excited to continue. There is just something calming about talking to someone that is going what you're going through. This group has reallllllllllllllllly helped me and they don't even know it. I have my first reiki this week so I'm excited for this. Also more meditation and theraputic touch this week. I had a very positive holidays there were ups and downs but more then ever cancer has picked the wrong fight! Thanks for the book dad I've just browsed through it for now but will read it.

I've been a bit spoiled over the holidays with a new laptop and a blackberry for myself. I also had 2 very fun poker nights over the holidays. Thanks Felice and Kent for letting us use your houses.