A big thanks to all the comments on the blog again! Colleen as long as the weather is good in florida you should be able to beat Shannon in golf... Erin Happy 30th birthday now that you are an official cougar and yes the 7th will be a breeze. Bev I'm glad it's warming up for you guys it's time to get the bikinis out an tan those bodies lol! Kim you're like my own little personal cheerleader I love it... Baldylocks wrote to me I love your blog and liz's army 2 of my favourites.
Well friday I did my 6th chemo and it went well. My brother Mark came with me to this chemo I'm not sure what he thought of it... I was to much in chemical wash to talk when it was all done. I sleep through most of it now anyhow. Mark and I are only 10 months apart and much like twins have always been by each others sides since birth. I moved to london and he followed me shortly. We both even married Jen's so that's how close we are but not the same one... I think it was hard on him watching his older brother recieving chemo it's no party. It's hard being the oldest and feeling so weak in front of him and my sister and my youngest brother for that matter... I'm supposed to be the wise strong older brother and this cancer can humble you quick! I think when people ask me what's the hardest part of having cancer it's the loss of control you feel you had before you had cancer... the reality is there was no control of my life before cancer! I know that because I could die at anytime with or without cancer and I have no control! I always think of car accidents so many people die in these crazy car accidents and there are so many other ways to go. So when I give up the control to cancer it's easier to deal with but make no mistake about it I've hated every moment of having the shitty disease! Again this is the way I deal with it... I've read so many blogs of people with cancer and we all deal with it differently but each and everyone of us friggin hates the disease but we're all surviving. So now that my tooth infection is gone the docs suspect I'll deal with the chemo much better on my 6th cycle. I still can't believe that I never had a fever through that infection I thouhgt i'd be in the hospital for sure. My blood seems to be recovering from the chemo fast these days within 8 days of my last chemo my blood counts were good and I think that's fast. That's most likely what saved me from spending a few nights in the hospital with infection way to go blood. Man oh man Oct 20 2009 I was diagnosed with the big C it seems like yesterday easily the worst day of my life... But better thing are to come and have been coming now we just got to cure this dam thing or remiss it for ever call it what you want just don't come back!!!
This beautiful weather we've had in the last few days has been awesome! What a pick me up to have this weather so early in march already... I was swinging my golf clubs off the snow covered ground carefully sending snow divots into the nieghbors yards! Hey I got cancer so they won't yell at me right? I so can't wait to golf it's my favourite thing to do other then hanging with the kids and wife.
See you all!
This hasn't made you seem weaker John. I can understand why you would think that, but don't. Love you and miss you, can't wait to see you.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Matt! I think this disease has only made you an even stronger big brother in my eyes, you are doing great. Keep up the fight! Love you and miss you
ReplyDeleteJolaine
John, you are such a great person and I love your spin on life...you're right anything can happen at anytime. You never know when you time is up so live life to the fullest! I agree that cancer has made you stronger, I'm very proud of the awesome fight you're putting up.
ReplyDeleteOh and I don't like to think of myself as a cougar but more of a cougar in training. Milf's gonna to show me the ropes!
JETT
Hey there John---Once again, you hit the nail right on the head----we NEVER know when life is going to throw a challenge our way----how we handle the challenge is what makes us the people we are. You are inspiring to your brothers, sister, parents, in-laws, friends and all relatives. Don't ever feel disappointed in yourself---you, the big brother, are setting an exemplary role model for anyone faced with such an enormous challenge.Everyone who has had to face the "Big C" hates it but has survived it with a very different respect for life.You have learned to "take time and smell the roses"----so possibly, this has been a gift as well as a challenge? Keep that positive attitude---we ALL love it! Don't forget to yell FORE if you toss anything into your neighbour's yard---they certainly won't be expecting it!!!! Chico & Colleen
ReplyDeleteJohnnie... ditto to what your mom said...
ReplyDeleteJ&E
xoxoxoxo
Hey John,
ReplyDeletewe love you so much. you are strong and good and loved, loved, loved. I don't want to talk for Mark, but since he isn't here right now and since it takes him a very long time to type one sentence (he would say so himself) I will. Although this cancer has affected him very much in so many ways, it has also reminded him how lucky he is to have you for a brother and a built-in best friend. He has told me many times that he wishes he could do more - he would do anything - to help you through this shitty time, and he was honoured to be with you last Friday.
love (sil)jen.
John you have fought a big battle in your young life and many challenges have come up along the way, and through them all you and Jen have fought them together with lots heartache, wisdom and strenth. You will come out on the other side of this in a new light and knowing what is important in your life now and what you want out of it. Jen you have remained strong and steadfast through Johns course of treatment. you were there to make sure they kept moving to get things done before they were even ready to start treatment, some might say you were relentless(haha)but you made it happen. you were John's eyes and ears when he could not wrap his head around anything the doctors were telling him. you asked the questions you made the appointments and was at his side for every one of them. the continuing worry and sleepless nights that yous have gone through but together you did it. You should both be very proud of yourselves for just getting through a day is not easy, with Jen working and the girls it is endless. this only worked because of the love yous have for each other, I am very proud of both of yous and I know there are better times ahead. with all our love mother and father in-law
ReplyDelete