Hanging on!

I've spent a lot of time thinking and reflecting since my diagnosis. One thing I've learned is life is short... So I want to leave this piece of advice for my kids! Life is full of ups and downs... Recognize and enjoy the ups. The downs are harder, sometimes all we can do is hold on. But don't hold on for too long! Don't be afraid to let go and step right back out there! When I was diagnosed. I was crushed and all I could do was hold on... I've let go and now I'm pushing forward, it's time to kick ass! I can't be bothered about what might happen to me and let cancer control my life... I still think it's important that I educate myself and go to my check ups that's being responsible for my health. To dwell on what might happen does me no good. Some nights I worry about my kids without a father, but then I let go. I need to enjoy my kids now. One thing I can promise to you girls is we'll continue to have fun... That's why we're camping this weekend!

One thing that is very clear to me about Follicular Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma is it's not curable by modern medicine. Modern medicine has lengthened remissions and stem cell transplants have giving some people so called cures. Dr Chin-yee told me that they declare you cured after 10 years of remission, but it could still come back at anytime. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm not what I call a cure. If you die of something else before you relapse isn't a cure for me either. Because modern medicine can only give me so much and that much I'm thankful for... But as I've mentioned before I decided to attack my cancer with exercise and diet. I decided whether it works or not I'm still much better off with a healthier lifestyle. Not to mention that as a parent it important to show my children the importance of exercising and eating well. I'm now considering going to a naturopath Dr for help with longer remissions or cures. I have to stay open minded especially when modern medicine still has no cure. I've learned of a young woman in Windsor. She was in remission with breast cancer, but it relapsed as stage 4 breast cancer which means your going to die. She went back on the chemo but it couldn't slow the cancer down. She was in such bad shape she couldn't get out bed. Then came the visits from the naturopath, well the tumors are shrinking she now is healthy enough to go grocery shopping. They had a fundraiser for her a few weeks ago so she can continue to use the naturopath, which is expensive and not covered by OHIP. Seriously why are we not combining modern medicine with naturopathic and homepathic techniques. Drug companies are afraid of a cure shitty but true. So I'll try and figure it out myself. I guess you could say I'm " Hanging on".