Well an exciting week for my blog and I as we were added to the i2y.com stupid cancer blogroll. This gives all the users of this website access to my blog. It's almost like it's published pretty cool eh! i2y.com is a pretty cool website it's worth a look... Jolaine I do feel more at peace and ease these days although this week was up and down again. Jen my attitude stays strong because of my wife and kids. Stephanie you were so funny at Erin's last night but I hope your morning wasn't to hard today. Jewel you and Jen playing taboo together is not fair I mean you know the color of each others underwear. Jen your saltwater gargle worked with my sore tooth thanks so much!!! Surprise!!! Erin a devoted commenter to my blog and friend of my wife and I had her dirty 30th bday last night... When she came through the door she was mauled by my wife and Stephanie. Erin nearly peed her pants. Oh well maybe your 40th the bladder won't be so strong and you'll pee then lol. We had a great time you were so funny at the party and you seemed pumped up and I made it to 1:00 am not bad for a guy who had chemo the day before!
Chemo # 5 went off with a bang on friday. I felt pretty energetic after my chemo and was able to go out and do some chores right after with Jen. We picked the girls up at my brothers and I came home for a nap. After my nap and for the first time since doing chemo I didn't feel well. I thought I was going to puke... I got a little nasty and I was able to fight it off with the help of my antinausea meds. I didn't sleep at all friday night but that was ok I was able to watch the not so good opening ceremonies for the olympics. I popped my prednisone on Saturday morning and slept most of saturday during the day. Aunt Lisa came down with Kelsey and Jacklynn to watch the girls so Jen and I could goto Erin's surprise 30th party sat night.
Dr Loman who I seen at the clinic on thursday kinda rubbed me the wrong way. He's a retired Oncologist how helps out at the clinics on thursday because unfortunately the clinics are so busy they need all the help they can get. He kept referring to my cancer a uncureable which I KNOW IT IS! When I asked about a PET Scan he told me unless I was going to pay for it he wouldn't order it. He told me because I have a incureable cancer that this scan wasn't necessary. I do agree to some extent with this because it doesn't tell me nothing as to if I'll ever relapse but it does give me a peace of mind. But he's an old school doc no use arguing with him I'll wait for Dr Chin-yee and try again he's more reasonable. If not I'll pay for the friggin thing myself. My CAT scan is set for feb 17th and the docs are 85% sure I'll only need on more chemo so that's good I think my body needs a rest from the chemo.
I'm starting to think about life after chemo. I guess I need to think about going back to work. This for me should be an easy transition I have a great partner in Dennis which will make it easy for me. I was able to have a nice visit with him last week. I still want to be able goto wellspring to make use of all there fine programs. I've also want to continue talk and see all my cancer buddies who helped me greatly through this journey. I worry a bit about my stamina because I don't have any right now but I'm sure it'll come back although it'll be slowly. Of course my diet and excercise will have to jumo to the forefront. Know more chemo eating but who cares I'm alive and doing well!!!
I've become addicted to reading other peoples blogs with cancer. Some of them are really well done and truly inspiring writings. I find peace in reading all the crap these people go through and all the positive vibes they still give up is amazing. I realized cancer hasn't ruined my life it has been a wake up call for me. I always considered myself a guy who lived life day by day. Then cancer came and now I live day by day. I learned what's important I get it and for that I feel lucky. The problem is when you learn this you want to even live longer because you simplfy life after cancer. When you have cancer you don't have a clue how long you'll be around. That's the irony of the whole thing you want to live but how long will I be around is the question. I believe I still have alot of time to make my mark on this planet. This is important to me because I want to instill my values on my girls. They are my world my light and my energy. For them I'll live my life to it's fullest not feeling sorry for myself but appreciative for the time I have with them. Of course my wife who holds the family together right now while I fight the fight. She kinda gets the tireless job of taking care of us all thank-you honey!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Keep on Trucking!
Well I've continue to learn more and more about cancer as I progress in my cancer journey. The more I educate myself about follicular non hodgkins lymphoma the more I'm confused if that makes any sense... I had a needle biopsy done on my armpit. The doctor that did the biopsy said that he removed lots of the lymphnode and was confident that pathology would have plenty for an accurate diagnosis. I have been told that I should have had a surgery and had part of my lymphnode removed and pathology could have given me a more accurate diagnosis. So I was a litte concerned about that at first. Of course I've learned that London pathology read me as a grade 3a most likely to act indolent. B.C. pathology where I sent my slides from the biopsy for a second opinion read me as a grade 2. So I was confused on 2 different opinions. I've since learned that in 2008 the world health organization changed the grading system from grades 1,2,3 to 1,2,3a,3b. The B.C. pathology using the older grading system still and London pathology using the newer system. So what this all means basically is that if London was still using the old system I would most likely be a 2. But the newer system has some other variables that classfies me as a 3a. Now I've come to learn after listening to the top follicular non hodgkins doctor out of chicago. She's another one of these doctors that only studies follicular non hodgkins lymphoma and she says that really patients should have more then one lymphnode biopsied because quite often the cancer is different grades in different areas throughout the lymphatic system. Meaning I might be a grade 3 on my left side but a 1 or 2 on my right side.... This is a reason why they have such a hard time predicting relapses. Basically what this all means is that I won't know much of anything until I relapse if I ever relapse. I'm hoping that I never relapse... I had so many emails sent to me on my facebook group alot from people who are 10-12 yrs down the road that haven't relapsed. Also emails from people that have relapsed and have went through treatments again and are doing just fine... So I'm not fearing relapsing as much as you would think... I'm hoping if I relapse at all it's at least 10 yrs down the road.
My precious Marissa turned 4 recently... It feels like just the other day I was watching my wife give birth to her. She was this tiny little thing with her eyes wide open. I got to give the first bottle to her that night! She loved opening her gifts and we had a nice quieter then usual birthday party.
I've had the pleasure of meeting many new people along the way. Most of them diagnosed with cancer... I've been able to spend time talking with them about how to survive cancer. The post diagnosis worries and emotions although not always the same are very similar. I haven't been spending as much time at wellsprings lately as I was. The programs are filling up fast and sometimes hard to get in if you don't sign up early. But I do have a good base support of friends dealing with cancers that I feel I can talk or hang with them whenever. I'm hoping that the stupid cancer group will continue to meet because that was a neat experience.
Next Friday is my 5th cycle of chemo already WOW!. The week after I have my CAT scan. I feel these next 2 weeks are huge... the CAT scan will hopefully confirm what I believe that the chemo is working and working well. The CAT scan cannot tell me that all the cancer is gone. Only a PET scan can tell me that so it's time to start pushing the doctor for that. That is done after the chemo! The PET scan in some ways when I think about it is insignificant... Because it doesn't do anything in terms of predicting relapses but I think it'll give me a peace of mind. Which is good thing to have when you have cancer so bring on the PET scan.
I would like to thank you all for the nice comments I recieved on my last post. It was nice to hear from all the "Stupid Cancer" people. Your organization is amazing and fills a void left for young people with cancer. Tara if you need any help with the next one email me and I'll do my best! Thanks to Under The Volcano Restaurant for hosting the event.
My precious Marissa turned 4 recently... It feels like just the other day I was watching my wife give birth to her. She was this tiny little thing with her eyes wide open. I got to give the first bottle to her that night! She loved opening her gifts and we had a nice quieter then usual birthday party.
I've had the pleasure of meeting many new people along the way. Most of them diagnosed with cancer... I've been able to spend time talking with them about how to survive cancer. The post diagnosis worries and emotions although not always the same are very similar. I haven't been spending as much time at wellsprings lately as I was. The programs are filling up fast and sometimes hard to get in if you don't sign up early. But I do have a good base support of friends dealing with cancers that I feel I can talk or hang with them whenever. I'm hoping that the stupid cancer group will continue to meet because that was a neat experience.
Next Friday is my 5th cycle of chemo already WOW!. The week after I have my CAT scan. I feel these next 2 weeks are huge... the CAT scan will hopefully confirm what I believe that the chemo is working and working well. The CAT scan cannot tell me that all the cancer is gone. Only a PET scan can tell me that so it's time to start pushing the doctor for that. That is done after the chemo! The PET scan in some ways when I think about it is insignificant... Because it doesn't do anything in terms of predicting relapses but I think it'll give me a peace of mind. Which is good thing to have when you have cancer so bring on the PET scan.
I would like to thank you all for the nice comments I recieved on my last post. It was nice to hear from all the "Stupid Cancer" people. Your organization is amazing and fills a void left for young people with cancer. Tara if you need any help with the next one email me and I'll do my best! Thanks to Under The Volcano Restaurant for hosting the event.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Amazing Times!
Well it's been awhile since I've written and I hope I'm not losing you all. Kim thanks for the bday wishes. Steph and Erin you guys are too funny thanks again and again for all your help and friendships. Derek let me say Mark will get some razzing over his night of drinking.
I had my 4th cycle of chemo. My mother in law was there for this one. I wasn't much entertainment for her as I slept through most of this one. She did get to witness the nurse miss my vein with the first IV the next one she put in started to bleed. She actually changed a part the IV and it solved the problem not after some blood squirted at her. When I was recieving the chemo this time I really felt like I was being poisoned. Even though I had no nausea and feel relatively good I have this mental thingy going on of being poisoned. I seen another oncologist from Dr Chin-yee's team. I believe his name was doctor Logan he felt my armpit and told me they're very happy with how my lymphoma is responding to the chemo. He said there was only a little spot left in my armpit and he wasn't sure if was even lymphoma. He thought it just may be scar tissue filling in for the lymphoma that is most likely gone. So I'm hoping 6 cycles will be enough for me but I'll have to wait for my CAT scan.
Lastly I have had one of the most amazing weeks of my life. Since I've been diagnosed with cancer my life has been a whrilwind of ups and downs. I've had unbelievable support from are families and friends. Seriously I can't believe the things you all have done the prayers the kindness,generousity,and love. The support I recieve from wellsprings the cancer support centre here in London has been huge for me. The excellent care from all the doctors and nurses at the london cancer clinc. Even with all this support I was scared,confused,angry,and every other emotion that comes with this horrible diease. But things changed for me forever on Monday Jan 25th I had just finished my peer support group and was at the wellsprings centre. I looked over and one of the girls in my peer support group was waving at me excitedly to come over. She was standing in front of a bulletin board pointing at a leaflet. It said, "stupid cancer" a group for young people with cancer. They were having a get together tuesday night at a restaurant in London at 6:00. My friend and I decided we'd go. Little did we know that Stupid cancer was a fairly big organization that was started in the U.S I'm not sure how many years ago. But they have 37 chapters in the US just for support with young people with cancer. Tuesday was the first time this group was in Canada and London of all places. So I show up at 6 and there is a private room in the back for the group. People start to show up and we mingle a bit. I think there was roughly 14 or 15 young adults that showed up from london,toronto,kitchener,and windsor. The organizer had us all sit at the table she gave us a brief intro to what stupid cancer was and then invited us all one by one to tell our stories with each other. One by one these people told there stories and they were amazing and inspiring. I was amazed a how grateful these people were to live life considering some of them are terminal,some are relapsing and some are cured. It was nice to here young people with the same concerns that I had. The only thing I don't get from wellsprings is the younger point of view on how to deal with cancer. Some of there stories were heartbreaking. One young man told me how do ask a girl on a date but I might not be around in a few years, let alone if you want to have children. Or how about being diagnosed with cancer at 23 and sleeping everynight in your mothers bed for a year because you're afraid you won't wake up. How about being diagnosed in your mid twenties with an extremely rare cancer that they have no protocol for. So basically you have to tell the doctors how to care for you because they don't know what to do. These kind of stories came from each persons mouth yet they smiled and had fun and were so positive. I stayed out till 1am listening to stories and exchanged #'s and made some friends. When I left there I wasn't scared of cancer anymore and some of my biggest fears were gone. This isn't to say I don't have fears because I do it's just different now. I've grown and have a greater appreciation for life even more then before. I'm have no idea how often this group will meet but I'll be there and will support anyone of these people.
Tonight I ate 2 full onions pickled in vinegar, followed by a half a pineapple, sunflower seeds, 3 glasses of lemonade before bed. Thanks Jen for the lasagna and mom for coming to wellsprings with me.
I had my 4th cycle of chemo. My mother in law was there for this one. I wasn't much entertainment for her as I slept through most of this one. She did get to witness the nurse miss my vein with the first IV the next one she put in started to bleed. She actually changed a part the IV and it solved the problem not after some blood squirted at her. When I was recieving the chemo this time I really felt like I was being poisoned. Even though I had no nausea and feel relatively good I have this mental thingy going on of being poisoned. I seen another oncologist from Dr Chin-yee's team. I believe his name was doctor Logan he felt my armpit and told me they're very happy with how my lymphoma is responding to the chemo. He said there was only a little spot left in my armpit and he wasn't sure if was even lymphoma. He thought it just may be scar tissue filling in for the lymphoma that is most likely gone. So I'm hoping 6 cycles will be enough for me but I'll have to wait for my CAT scan.
Lastly I have had one of the most amazing weeks of my life. Since I've been diagnosed with cancer my life has been a whrilwind of ups and downs. I've had unbelievable support from are families and friends. Seriously I can't believe the things you all have done the prayers the kindness,generousity,and love. The support I recieve from wellsprings the cancer support centre here in London has been huge for me. The excellent care from all the doctors and nurses at the london cancer clinc. Even with all this support I was scared,confused,angry,and every other emotion that comes with this horrible diease. But things changed for me forever on Monday Jan 25th I had just finished my peer support group and was at the wellsprings centre. I looked over and one of the girls in my peer support group was waving at me excitedly to come over. She was standing in front of a bulletin board pointing at a leaflet. It said, "stupid cancer" a group for young people with cancer. They were having a get together tuesday night at a restaurant in London at 6:00. My friend and I decided we'd go. Little did we know that Stupid cancer was a fairly big organization that was started in the U.S I'm not sure how many years ago. But they have 37 chapters in the US just for support with young people with cancer. Tuesday was the first time this group was in Canada and London of all places. So I show up at 6 and there is a private room in the back for the group. People start to show up and we mingle a bit. I think there was roughly 14 or 15 young adults that showed up from london,toronto,kitchener,and windsor. The organizer had us all sit at the table she gave us a brief intro to what stupid cancer was and then invited us all one by one to tell our stories with each other. One by one these people told there stories and they were amazing and inspiring. I was amazed a how grateful these people were to live life considering some of them are terminal,some are relapsing and some are cured. It was nice to here young people with the same concerns that I had. The only thing I don't get from wellsprings is the younger point of view on how to deal with cancer. Some of there stories were heartbreaking. One young man told me how do ask a girl on a date but I might not be around in a few years, let alone if you want to have children. Or how about being diagnosed with cancer at 23 and sleeping everynight in your mothers bed for a year because you're afraid you won't wake up. How about being diagnosed in your mid twenties with an extremely rare cancer that they have no protocol for. So basically you have to tell the doctors how to care for you because they don't know what to do. These kind of stories came from each persons mouth yet they smiled and had fun and were so positive. I stayed out till 1am listening to stories and exchanged #'s and made some friends. When I left there I wasn't scared of cancer anymore and some of my biggest fears were gone. This isn't to say I don't have fears because I do it's just different now. I've grown and have a greater appreciation for life even more then before. I'm have no idea how often this group will meet but I'll be there and will support anyone of these people.
Tonight I ate 2 full onions pickled in vinegar, followed by a half a pineapple, sunflower seeds, 3 glasses of lemonade before bed. Thanks Jen for the lasagna and mom for coming to wellsprings with me.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Surprise!!!
Jolaine I agree I do look good and I am doing well and I'm thankful for that. Colleen I think Chico is absolutely right I will make it. I think it is neat that your son has the same bday. I hope everthing works out for him also. Erin I have a positive attitude because many people like yourselves that give your time,love, and prayers to my family. Jen thanks for going above and beyond to organize a little surprise for me in windsor it was great fun. Jolaine and Duke thanks for letting us party at your house. Linda if I was in a wheelchair I'd be at the golf trip that's how much fun I have on that trip. Thanks to all the golf trip guys for showing up at the party. Linda it was nice to see you there! It was great to see al of you at the party... Cathy I agree the best part about doing my stickers was I didn't make a decision because of my cancer that was cool! Thanks for the birthday wishes Craig,BJ,Victoria and Katie. Yes we need to get together or my wife will start harassing you.
Well this week was busy busy. Thursday Morning for my birthday my neighbour Derek took me out for breakfast at the malibu and it was fantastic. Derek and I could talk until breakfast the next day no problem. We never shut up and enjoy talking and sharing stories with each other. Then for lunch myself,mom, and the girls met Jen for lunch at work. We had a nice lunch and mom picked up the bill. Thanks mom! Later that night we had friends and family over for supper wow what a great day! On friday my work partner Dennis picked me up and brought me out for lunch at hooks. Dennis and I also have the gift of gab it was nice to see him. Dennis I'll be back slugging it out with you soon... Thanks for lunch! Friday night we left for windsor. I went out for lunch with my wife on Saturday and came back to my parents for a afternoon nap. When I woke up we had pizza and headed over to my sisters for cake and cupcakes. Little did I know there was friends and family gathered for a little surprise party. I was so not expecting this. It was so nice to see all of you. I haven't seen alot of you's since my diagnosis. So we sat around and ate and told stories and had lots of good laughs. Thanks to everyone for the cards and lottery tickets and gift cards so not necessary but appreciated. I stayed up to 1:00am pretty good for me. Sunday was off to Chatham to pick up my mother in law so she can babysit me this week lol.
Otherwise I feel great pyhsically and mentally. I have my peer support group on monday. But I don't think I have any other things going on at wellsprings this week. I might give meditation a shot this week again. My butt doesn't feel as lethal this week. My appointment with Dr. Chin-yee is thrusday and chemo # 4 is on the friday already. A big happy birthday to my sister in law and dad who's birthdays are monday and tuesday this week. Young people with cancer is a support group that I think I'm going to join. I took the phone number off a pamphlet at wellsprings. They have conferences and support groups also it looks kind of neat. Also I want to say happy bday to Jack we missed his 4th bday while we were in windsor. I suspect Jack made out alright in the gift department. Could I be right Steph?
Well this week was busy busy. Thursday Morning for my birthday my neighbour Derek took me out for breakfast at the malibu and it was fantastic. Derek and I could talk until breakfast the next day no problem. We never shut up and enjoy talking and sharing stories with each other. Then for lunch myself,mom, and the girls met Jen for lunch at work. We had a nice lunch and mom picked up the bill. Thanks mom! Later that night we had friends and family over for supper wow what a great day! On friday my work partner Dennis picked me up and brought me out for lunch at hooks. Dennis and I also have the gift of gab it was nice to see him. Dennis I'll be back slugging it out with you soon... Thanks for lunch! Friday night we left for windsor. I went out for lunch with my wife on Saturday and came back to my parents for a afternoon nap. When I woke up we had pizza and headed over to my sisters for cake and cupcakes. Little did I know there was friends and family gathered for a little surprise party. I was so not expecting this. It was so nice to see all of you. I haven't seen alot of you's since my diagnosis. So we sat around and ate and told stories and had lots of good laughs. Thanks to everyone for the cards and lottery tickets and gift cards so not necessary but appreciated. I stayed up to 1:00am pretty good for me. Sunday was off to Chatham to pick up my mother in law so she can babysit me this week lol.
Otherwise I feel great pyhsically and mentally. I have my peer support group on monday. But I don't think I have any other things going on at wellsprings this week. I might give meditation a shot this week again. My butt doesn't feel as lethal this week. My appointment with Dr. Chin-yee is thrusday and chemo # 4 is on the friday already. A big happy birthday to my sister in law and dad who's birthdays are monday and tuesday this week. Young people with cancer is a support group that I think I'm going to join. I took the phone number off a pamphlet at wellsprings. They have conferences and support groups also it looks kind of neat. Also I want to say happy bday to Jack we missed his 4th bday while we were in windsor. I suspect Jack made out alright in the gift department. Could I be right Steph?
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
This week feels very normal!
Thanks to Jennifer my wife for all your encouragement and help. Steph thanks for the info on my pickle obsession. Apparently I eat the pickles to make up for my Iron deficiency so that explains things. Erin I couldn't agree more with you this is my year... Jewel I think you're coming over for dinner thrusday so I'll see you then but no Eric this time oh well! Jennifer if you ever want to make me some more lasangna that would be great. Also a big thanks to Kim for making the shepards pie for us this week it was so yummy. Also a prayer for a friend who lost her father recently Jen and I send our love!
Well Jan 14th is my 38th birthday and my first with cancer. I never thought I'd be talking about cancer at 38 let alone through 3 cycles of chemo already. Sometimes this whole thing doesn't feel real. Unfortunately it is very real. But not is all bad I continue to feel great and very optimistic. Today I renewed my stickers for 2 years on my van and as I walked out I realized I never thought about if I'd be around in 2 years. When she asked me if I wanted to renew I said 2 years and never thought about it. 2 Months earlier I would have thought about it for a bit. I'm not sure how long the van will be around but I'll outlast that thing. I had my weelsprings peer support group on monday and the more I go the more I realize I'm going to miss this group when they are gone. I believe we will continue to gather as a group at the local coffee shops around the city hopefully once a week for awhile. The big day is feb 17th for the Cat scan which I mentioned in the last blog. They'll be able to measure my tumor and I'll have an idea how much more chemo I'll do. Jan 21st I have my next appointment with Dr chin-yee and the next day I do my 4th cycle of chemo already. For now I just continue on like life is normal I have a plan to fly out to see my brother in Vancouver in the spring as well as my golf trip. My Marissa has her 4th bday on Jan 31st already wow. Life flows so fast sometimes I just want to throw on the brakes. Eventually I'll have to start thinking about going back to work which I look forward to. My mom is here this week watching the girls as my mother in law gets a break. Did alitte ice skating on my brothers homemade icerink this week and I officially have no stamina.
Have a great week everyone!
Well Jan 14th is my 38th birthday and my first with cancer. I never thought I'd be talking about cancer at 38 let alone through 3 cycles of chemo already. Sometimes this whole thing doesn't feel real. Unfortunately it is very real. But not is all bad I continue to feel great and very optimistic. Today I renewed my stickers for 2 years on my van and as I walked out I realized I never thought about if I'd be around in 2 years. When she asked me if I wanted to renew I said 2 years and never thought about it. 2 Months earlier I would have thought about it for a bit. I'm not sure how long the van will be around but I'll outlast that thing. I had my weelsprings peer support group on monday and the more I go the more I realize I'm going to miss this group when they are gone. I believe we will continue to gather as a group at the local coffee shops around the city hopefully once a week for awhile. The big day is feb 17th for the Cat scan which I mentioned in the last blog. They'll be able to measure my tumor and I'll have an idea how much more chemo I'll do. Jan 21st I have my next appointment with Dr chin-yee and the next day I do my 4th cycle of chemo already. For now I just continue on like life is normal I have a plan to fly out to see my brother in Vancouver in the spring as well as my golf trip. My Marissa has her 4th bday on Jan 31st already wow. Life flows so fast sometimes I just want to throw on the brakes. Eventually I'll have to start thinking about going back to work which I look forward to. My mom is here this week watching the girls as my mother in law gets a break. Did alitte ice skating on my brothers homemade icerink this week and I officially have no stamina.
Have a great week everyone!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)