Merry Christmas!

Well Christmas has come and gone and this year was a special one. There were mixed emotions. The highs were watching my girls enjoy opening gifts and being spoiled at christmas. Spending time with my family and friends alot who I haven't seen since my diagnosis. Food!!! Oh my god tons of food everywhere I turned. My health throughout the chemo so far is excellent! Lows are the uncertainty of my future health and what will transpire after my chemo is done. These are the hardest things for me to deal with at this time. I feel very comfortable with the care I receive and there is a safety blanket for me while I do my chemo. Even though I'll be watched frequently after chemo I feel like I'll have lost my security. This a bit scary to me but there is the reality I may have to go down this road again. Because of this I need to be healthier and stronger then I was before and I will be. My greatest fear is that I would get so sick that I couldn't get out of bed and my young girls would watch there father suffer. I don't want my girls at such a young age to watch there father suffer because they wouldn't understand what was wrong. I don't beleive that I'm anywhere near that but it haunts me somedays! I'm truly not scared to suffer or die but I just want to watch my girls grow!

Anyhow today was the start of my 3rd cycle of chemo can you believe it? My sister came to this chemo treatment. It was nice to have her she's my only sister and I love her and look up to her so much because she is so strong. It sounds weird to say I look up to her because I'm the older brother but I'm so proud of her she's a good person with a beautiful family. This time felt so fast it felt like I laid in the bed and 15 minutes later I was out. I think I started at 8:45am and was out just after Noon. So not to bad at all!!! My chest x-ray came back negative so that was good it looks like it is just the common cold and cough after all. I don't expect any nausea again but I do think I will be much more tired throughout the rest of the chemo which is fine. Sleeping is something I enjoy and will take advantage of it. So keep your fingers crossed hopefully no barfing for yours truly.

I did some fun things throughout the holidays I played poker at a friends on the 27th and came out 35 bucks ahead so that's good. I was out to past 3am. Because I don't drink while I'm on chemo so I've become a good designated driver which is fine. So I loaded up the mini van and drove everyone home. Highlighted by pulling over at around 3:30 am so my brother could jump out and throw up all over the driveway of some swanky riverside drive house. Followed up with " well that should freeze up nicely!" I was able to talk to Dennis my work partner he keeps me up to date with work which is nice. I miss those guys they're a hoot. Rob my long time school buddy called and we had a nice talk. It's wierd we don't talk much but when we do it's like old times. There's nothing but well wishes for each other it's so nice! I just want to apologize for not responding to some of my emails sent to my gmail account. I hadn't been checking and alot of people sent me nice emails that I didn't know about. But now it is my primary email and I check everyday. So send me emails at jmaisonville@gmail.com. I have a new computer and a blackberry that I check all the time now so generally I'll respond quick!!!

Colleen And Chico you must have some connections in the ornament making business if you could find a fart ornament. Linda I might stop over to see you and Mike if I get down in the next couple of weeks to drop off my money for the golf trip. I hope you guys had a good christmas? Erin I think about you guys alot through the holidays because you travel alot like us and I'm glad you had a safe holidays. I hear the boys were sick poor mommy Erin had to take care of her boys and I'm talking about Todd too!!! LOL